A Bedtime Story - TobiDei Oneshot
by StareIntoTheSunset
Summary: Tobi wants his senpai to read him a bedtime story.


**Don't like TobiDei, don't read!**

* * *

It was night, nearing about twelve o'clock in the morning. Tobi was tired, so he decided to go up to Deidara and ask him to read a bed time story.

"No, hm. No way in _hell_ am I reading you a bed time story." The blond bomber says, crossing his arms neatly over his chest.

"But Tobi wants his senpai to read him a story!" The ravenette cries, tugging on Deidara's arm.

"I already said no, Tobi." The arsonist told him tiredly, shaking his head and closing his eyes.

"Please?" The masked man whines, dragging on the first vowel and tugging even harder. Deidara feels his eyes droop.

"No."

"Please?"

"I said no."

"Please?"

"No, hm."

"…Please?"

"No!"

Tobi starts to sob, putting his face in his hands. "Senpai is so mean to me… all Tobi wanted was a bed time story…"

Deidara furrows his eyebrows in frustration. If he doesn't do anything, the man would keep bothering him all night. He didn't have the time for that, neither did he have the time for a bed time story. Or, well, he technically did _have_ the time, but he'd rather choose not to. Not having any other choice, the bomber yells out, "Fine!"

Tobi perks up, his attitude immediately changing from sad to happy. Deidara twitched — bastard… it's as if he was just pretending!

"What are you waiting for, senpai?" Tobi says, happily clapping his hands. "Let's go and read a story!"

Deidara groans but follows Tobi anyways, the ravenette skipping away to his bedroom.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

After numerous attempts of trying to kill Tobi (so that he wouldn't have to read him a bed time story), Deidara gives a final sigh and watches as Tobi tucks himself into bed. The ravenette fluffs his pillow, grabs two plush toys — one that looks suspiciously like Deidara, and the other of a brunette with purple streaks on her face that Deidara doesn't recognize — and snuggles into his blankets. It all would've been fine and dandy, if Tobi hadn't taken thirty minutes to do it all in one sitting.

"Are you done yet, yeah?" Deidara snaps. He's tired, annoyed, irritated, sleepy, moody, and… did he mention he's tired?

"Yes, yes," Tobi said, waving a hand up and down in the air. "Now, it's time for Deidara-senpai to read me a story!"

Tobi gestures Deidara to sit on a stool he'd put beside his bed. The said man did, rather idly.

Deidara scans the bedroom, trying to find books. Unfortunately, none were to be seen. "Well, sorry, Tobi, un. There's no books in the room." He gets up a little bit hastily, and looks like he was trying to hide a look of relief. "I guess I'll just be going then, yeah. Can't read a story if you don't have one." He begins to make his way to the door.

"No, no, Tobi got rid of all the book so that Deidara-senpai could read me his own story!" Tobi exclaims.

Deidara's eye twitches. The blond bomber turns around and says, "What?"

"It's exactly as Tobi says!" The masked man states as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Tobi wants senpai to make up his own story. Tobi thinks it'll be better this way!"

The arsonist let out low mutters – they seemed like they could be fairly rude, since Deidara's expression was that of being extremely irritated – that Tobi couldn't decipher. He probably was just absolutely delighted to read a story for his partner, wasn't he?

Tobi smiles. Deidara can hear it, and it annoys him even more.

The blond slowly sits back down onto the stool, sighing in defeat. "Fine, then." He dips his chin, as if deep in thought. "So, hm, once upon a time... there was a —."

"— A good boy! A good boy named Tobi!" The masked man interrupts, clapping his hands excitedly.

Deidara rolls his eyes and sighs once more. "Yes, yes, a good boy named Tobi. The boy was a complete idio — er — awesome guy," As Deidara said that, he felt as if he were going to barf. "And he liked this girl named —."

"— Why does it have to be a girl, senpai? Why not a boy? Hmm? Does Deidara-senpai want to assume Tobi's sexuality?"

Deidata clenches his fist and puts it up in the air, an angry expression on his face. "You know it's not like that, hm!" He crosses his arms, idly asking, "What are you, gay?"

"Hey, if I was, there wouldn't be anything wrong with it, right senpai?" Tobi says, getting defensive. Deidara's eyes narrow. His partner didn't deny it. "Besides, senpai, I'm one hundred percent sure that is what you are!" The masked man adds.

Deidara's face goes red with anger. "Don't go assuming like that, hm!" He snaps.

"Fine, fine," Tobi says as he waves his hand idly. "But we both know it's true..."

Deidara gives him a dangerous glare, and due to that, Tobi added, "— probably!"

"Can we just get on to the story, please?"

Obito smiles. His partner didn't deny it. Tobi shrugs, then nods vigorously. "Of course, senpai!"

"So, as I was saying, Tobi liked this girl named —."

"— Named Deidara!" Tobi interrupts once more.

Another eye twitch comes from Deidara. "What did you just say?" He growls.

"Uwaah, senpai is so scary!"

"Also, stop cutting me off! It's annoying as hell, yeah, and I am _not_ using my name as your lover in this story!"

"Who said it was _Tobi's_ lover? Sure, the story has my name, but it isn't Tobi..." Tobi looks at the arsonist, eyes wide, even though Deidara couldn't see it. "...Or is it? Is Deidara-senpai making this story on Tobi?!"

"Obviously, I am! It literally has your name, hm!" Deidara huffs. "Will you let me keep telling my story or what?"

"Sorry, sorry! Tobi will shut up now."

"Good! As I was saying, Tobi liked this girl named..." Deidara trails off, as he tries to find a name. One name is on his tongue, but he doesn't think it seems very feminine. Whatever, a name's a name.

"…Kakashi!"

Obito twitches. Out of all the names, out of all the people, it has to be Kakashi? Oh, how painful. "Tobi doesn't like that name!" He shrieks.

"Then what name would you prefer, yeah?"

"The girl's name will be... Rin!"

"Rin?"

"Yeah, Rin."

"Rin seems… masculine."

"Stop trying to tie names with genders, senpai. Rin is a unisex name. Plus, that Kakashi girl doesn't sound very girly!"

"Yeah, but —."

"Would senpai prefer his name as Tobi's lover instead?"

Deidara stays quiet. After a beat, he answers, "No, no, Rin is better, yeah."

"Okay!" Tobi answers, cheerful. They both fell into a comfortable silence. Deidara gazing at the ground, while Tobi was staring at the ceiling. Who would think two mass murderers would sit down and talk about a bed time story?

"Senpai," Tobi tells him softly, breaking the silence. "Can you continue your story, now?"

"Oh, yeah, hm! Sorry about that." Deidara apologizes. He continues with his story, saying, "Tobi liked this girl named Rin. They both got dangos one day and Tobi proposed to Rin and then they got married. And then... Tobi asked Rin to visit his house. And then they Netflix and Chilled. The end."

Tobi tilts his head. "Senpai, what's Netflix and Chill?"

 _Oh, Kami._ Deidara thinks as he mentally panics. He groans. Tobi's too innocent.

"Uh... Netflix and Chill is when two people hang out, yeah."

"Oh," Tobi says, dragging the vowel. He suddenly lights up. "Does Deidara-senpai want to do Netflix and Chill with Tobi, then?"

Deidara flushes, a look of rage washing over his face. "Do you wish to die, Tobi, un?"

"But senpai —."

"I'll make you die with a bang, hmm!" Deidara yells as he pulls out his clay.

"Wait, senpai, what wrong with —."

"Katsu!"

The entire base shakes, and Deidara hears Hidan storming down the halls. "Fucking blond bitch!" The Jashinist yells. He bursts open the door to Tobi's bedroom. "Keep it fucking quiet, you piece of shit! There are people trying to fucking rest!"

"Tch, not my fault my art is so majestic."

Hidan and Deidara keep bickering, and Obito smiles. What a nice bed time story.

Tobi scratches his head. All he wanted to do was hang out with his senpai.

What was wrong with doing Netflix and Chill?

* * *

 **(A/N: Hey! So this fanfiction was inspired by a piece of fanart I found on Tumblr, which I found hilarious. I ship TobiDei — if you can't already tell — so if you don't ship it, why have you read up to this far?**

 **Thank y'all for reading! Hope you've enjoyed. My phone is at three percent as I write this...**

 **I don't know how the bedroom thing would work... just pretend, okay? Thank you once again! Make sure to leave a review, they motivate me so much to make more!)**


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